Thursday, June 7, 2012

Self-Sabotage by Proxy

I was not planning to have to write this post this soon. Actually, I was expecting very little self-sabotage on this project. But I was not prepared for self-sabotage by proxy.

This is how I wrote in my Getting Rich With eBooks 3.0 Review post:

So I have now watched $100 worth of videos, and maybe one hour of it was really good stuff. So would I pay $100 for an expert like Vic to sit with me and tell me how to use the tools to find ideas and how to evaluate the potential of my ideas? YES, yes I would. And I would not even blink.

But later on I wrote:

Comment at 5th of June - I decided to cancel my trial after reading a comment telling me that this "one-time offer" has been online for over a year now. That is a marketing tactic that I don't really like and do not wish to learn myself.

Oh Cheese! Get a grip, Jaana. Are you really claiming that Vic will inject you with EVIL, if you continue?!!! That is the lamest excuse ever for quitting a perfectly fine course, honey.

So what happened - really?

Well, I was fine when I read my blog comments and replied them. I am a big believer of "personal reality" or "personal truth" concept so even though I felt for you the comments did not affect the decision I had made. I had already established that the course content would fit my needs.

But later on I was having dinner with my husband and I asked him if he had read the comments. He had and suddenly he looked me in the eyes and asked: "What do you think, should you cancel"?

I actually left the dinner table, started up the pc I had already shut down for the evening and canceled my course account immediately. When I was ready my husband came into the room and said: "I'm glad you did that. You know, that Vic guy was a little... you know..." and he showed me the Italian gesture for furbo. Furbo is a "smart individual with vicious and tricky intent". We both laughed and I felt what he was feeling - I was relieved too. But I did ask him how I was going to learn that stuff now. He said I will surely get that information from somewhere else too, delivered by someone I'll feel more connected to.

But the next day I did not feel good. I had some major self-doubts about my project and I felt insecure. I was rolling around thoughts that everybody is trying to trick me and no-one will definitely want my product and etc. But in the afternoon I logged into my Twitter and found this:

My jaw dropped when I looked at the time stamp. Steve had tweeted before I canceled. And he was answering the only question that was relevant - is the content of Vic's course going to be of the same quality than the first 2 modules.

So I stepped back and evaluated the situation. Where did my negative thoughts came from? Why was I having a strong flashback of feelings that I thought I had dealt with already. You see, I have worked on my limiting beliefs using Louise Hay's wonderful, happy and flowery book You Can Heal Your Life. So I thought I had the most important of them swapped already. Then I realized - maybe these are not mine... When I found the book my husband was abroad and when he came back he started reading the book, but stopped after couple of chapters.

As my husband came home from work I asked him why did he think it was a good idea to cancel the course. He replied with a saying: "Don't buy a pig in a poke". I told about Steve's comment. He asked if I should trust Steve. Then I told him that I think he is having a limiting belief about this issue. Something along the lines "People are always trying to take advantage on you". That is one I had too!

After some thought he saw it himself and he was ashamed. He never meant to sabotage me. But I told him not to feel bad since he did not do anything. I am the one who decided to react and pick up the old negative belief that he offered to me. I just did not realize I did.

Diagnosis: Self-sabotage by proxy
Treatment: Account reactivation, affirmations (for DH too)

So, I'm happily back on the course!


  1. Hey, I am glad you've settled the internal conflict and I am sorry if I was somehow involved in this :)
    I read your tweets and must clarify: I never said Vic was a scam, only that I didn't like his marketing. The product behind the marketing could actually be good. I hope you'll keep us updated as you go deeper into the course.

    1. I don't think you were an active party, so don't worry :)

      I'm not a native english speaker so to me scammer means someone who says something and does another thing. I apologize if that was not what you meant.

      I modified the posts so that your name is not mentioned, in case that bothers you.

  2. Best of luck for your course, just make sure to squeeze every drop of information you can get :P

    Previously I was also worried about taking up new courses. Worried about scam or questioning a lot :D which cost me 10 years plus doing nothing.... hehehe
    But nowadays I take the chance by listening to my inner voice :D

    You never try you never know, the key is to stay long enough to see your results.

  3. Great Post! Is there a way I can subscribe to your blog via blogspot without havin it sent to me email?

    1. Thanks zzoffie!

      I added back the followers section on the right. I removed it some time ago as it looked so sad and empty when no-one was following me.

  4. Would love to hear how you are doing now.

    1. Hey Warren,

      I run my online business and you can read my whereabouts at